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Ultimately there are no guarantees but I'd say it's worth a shot. No nagging, no emotional neediness, etc. I wanted very much to make it work with us, and was willing to compromise in areas that I normally wouldn't. We are only engaged and as much as I love him, I can't handle the pain of watching my goals and dreams wash away to be at his disposal. The misogyny is deep in the Mormon church. She wants the eternal temple marriage and you will be her long term project TL;DR I considered ending my marriage of Save yourself pain by getting out before it gets harder. And I learned how freeing that is. Do you think that is too draining too.
It sounds like you HAVE done your best in the past. That's a really sad story. The hardest thing is the feeling of being completely shut out. If things get even more serious, try getting her to sign a pre-nup that neither she, nor her family will try to convert you. I feel I have given a lot of myself and in the process have lost myself and my identity. But I love him. Do any of your husbands drink alot of wine. Just let things keep going. My husband has the benefit of having his cake and eating it too.